NFL Tour isn’t the worst game ever made. Let me just say that right out of the gate. It is however, the worst football game to hit the market in a long time. Many thought that this game would be an improvement over NFL Street, the original name of the series, after EA announced they were overhauling the franchise and changing the name. They overhauled it alright. They hauled out all the fun and smeared ugly all over it. So yes, it was “over” and “hauled”.

Madden fans beware as this title is the most barebones and stripped down version of American football that you’ll ever find on a console. Super Tecmo Bowl had deeper mechanics almost twenty years ago. The game is so simple and horrific that there might as well be nothing but stick figures running “plays” on screen. Gone are the large selection of plays. In their place are simple rock-paper-scissors choices like long pass, short pass, and run. It all comes down to hoping you choose a different play from your opponent and snapping the ball. This is where the game gets even simpler, which is to say, worse.

After snapping the ball, you have three choices. You can scramble, which is pointless. You can pass the ball to your “A” receiver. Or you can hit “B” and switch to your alternate receiver, who then becomes your “A” receiver. Reading this paragraph has just clued you in to the depth of this title’s gameplay. You press “A” and on occasion, you press “B” and then “A”. It’s fun for all. That is if all the people playing are five years old. It’s easy to see that Tiburon was going for quick, pick up-n-play accessibility, but the over-simplified controls make the game more annoying than simple.

At the heart of Tour are the same street rules that will seem familiar to those of us who grew up playing in the park as kids. You throw the ball off instead of kicking it. And again, any association to football that you know, ends there. There’s no out-of-bounds. There are “reversals” straight out of a wrestling game to keep from getting hit. And once you score, you’re given the option of a one point or two point conversion from five or ten yards respectively. Because this type of scoring strategy meshes so well with a game that’s so simple right? You’re just left feeling that every aspect of this game was imagined by different people who never talked to each other or really knew what football fans wanted.

Graphically this game is one of those titles you might think looks good when you’re drunk, but when you turn it on the next morning, you want to return it before your friends see it in your apartment. Since the players aren’t wearing helmets, you’d think EA would have put a little focus on the player models. Players don’t resemble their real life counter-parts at all. The arenas you play in all look alike and vary almost only by color. I suppose the same could be said for the players if you think about it. The animations are fluid, but I can tell you something else that’s fluid after I eat at Taco Bell. Both are as enjoyeable to look at. And both can be described with the same four letter word.

The sound will have you turning the volume off after the first game. Repitition is the name of the game when it comes to commentary. This is no exaggeration as the cycle of repeated commentary begins after the second series of downs. It is inexcuseable in this age of gaming to have approximately twenty lines of commentary for a sports game.

There’s not really much reason to go on regarding this title. Even if you liked NFL Street, you’re likely to be disappointed here. There’s a reason EA dropped the price twice on this game before it ever reached retail. NFL Tour is the definition of “Bargain Bin”. Avoid this game. Don’t rent. Don’t Buy. You can dance if you want. You can leave your friends behind. But don’t waste a dime on this game. The demo on Xbox Live Marketplace has every line of dialoge included in the final version. The gameplay doesn’t really vary by team. If you have to play NFL Tour, play the free demo.

- Why did EA do this to football fans?

- No discount makes this game worth money

- I’d rather play 1985's Tecmo Bowl

- If you "need" exaggerated football, pick up last year's Street